Friday, 25 March 2011

Lifes ups and downs

My lovely father in law died on Sunday. Completely out of the blue with no warning. We had spent all day Saturday with him, gone to the park, had lunch outside in the sunshine and left about 8pm with plans to see him next week. He went to bed and just didn't wake up in the morning. He had an instant massive heart attack during the night. He was only 63 and the fittest person I know running half marathons regularly. Life is really not fair sometimes.

Explaining to the children has been hard. I have used this book before and it is fantastic for explaining loss and grief and remembering people to really young children. Does anyone have any other suggestions?

10 comments:

  1. Louise I'm so sorry to hear about your father-in-law. When my Dad died my children were a similar age to yours and I remember reading them a beautiful book called Badger's Parting Gifts - I don't know if it's still in print but it's well worth tracking down

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  2. Can't help on the advise front, but just wanted to add my condolences. No matter the circumstances it is always a blow. I send you all hugs and you know there will be many here thinking of you.
    Jenny x

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  3. oh louise how terribly sad, sending you and your family my condolences, sorry i can't help on the advice with the children, sometimes its hard enough to comprehend these things as an adult.
    take care
    tracy

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  4. I am so sorry for you. We were given the same book for Luca when Joshua died, and I had already bought it myself. Have a look at this website http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/
    They have a lot of good advice about what to say (amd what not to say) to children depending on their age.
    We were also given another book 'Remembering' By Erica Brown, I htink it is published by the Child Bereavement Charity www.childbereavement.org.uk It allows children to keep a memory of the things they remember of the person that has died. In our case Luca is a little too young for it so we will make a photo album (actually this week-end) in which he can draw and colour, put stickers etc. If I can think of anything else I'll let you know.

    Thinking of you and your family xx

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  5. I am so sorry for your familis Loss Louise. I wrote a blog post about it http://www.muminthemadhouse.com/2011/01/helping-children-deal-with-the-death-of-a-loved-one/

    My mum died suddenly on Christmas eve

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  6. Hi Louise. Firstly I am so so sorry for your loss. It made my heart skip a beat as I read as my dad is also 63. I was going to tell you about the Winstons Wish website, its something as a childrens nurse we recommend all the time. The site has great resources and is brilliant for helping children and adults understand and more importantly remember. Big hugs to all of you xxx

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  7. Sorry for your loss. Thought are with you and your family.

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  8. Sending love to you and yours at this shocking time! xxx

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  9. Thats so sad. My Dad died a few years ago similarly suddenly and it was very hard to take initially. Later I came to appreciate that at least he didn't spend years suffering with illness and bad health. I didn't have children at the time but they now often ask about him and can be suprisingly blunt in their attitude! I sort of like talking to them though, they ask peculiar questions sometimes which prompts forgotten memories. x

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  10. So sorry for your family's loss. My dad too died similarly aged 57. I remember the shock and feeling of numbness and being devastated. My thoughts are with you all xx

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